Marriage

I have to say, after reading a friend's post of Facebook about seeing relationship statuses changing to "complicated", I started thinking about all the people I know who are going through a divorce with in a one year period. It is FRIGHTENING!!!
I can count more than 13 couples that I know in "real life"...that isn't counting those I "know" on other networking sites.

What is happening to our families?

I have an idea or an opinion if you will. It is simple. We are turning away from God.

There are so many "reasons" that we can give.

Here's a few:

• We got married to young.
• We have grown apart.
• We have different goals.
• We are at different points in our life.

Those are just excuses. But how am I to say that...s'rsly...I got a divorce. People who knew me "when" knows all about it, others who "know me now" have no idea.

Jerry and I married right out of high school. Or the year after...it's been awhile, dates are fuzzy now... We got married on April 16, 1991. Just before my 20th birthday. I was pregnant with our daughter. About eight years later, we were divorced. Now that is a date that I really can't remember. I have blocked it out of my mind.

I can give you a "lot" of reasons...or excuses. But the simple fact was, I had turned from my faith and I was living the way that "I" wanted to live. I wanted to be that "party girl" that I couldn't do because I got married and had a bunch of babies. I wanted freedom. I wanted to be flirted with by men who weren't my husband. I wanted what wasn't good for me. I didn't want to live for Jesus.

I went out and partied with my friends from work. I had an affair with another man. I betrayed my husband and my family. Simple as that.

But those betrayals aren't that simple. I hurt a lot of people. I hurt my husband and my children and my family.

We hear people say "it's my life and I can live it the way that I want". Yes that is true. But it isn't only your life. Your actions...your choices affect everyone around you. So what's the cost? What price are you willing to pay for your choices? Are they worth it? Are your kids worth it?

I killed a little piece of my children's heart by the choices that I made. I killed a little piece of my husband's heart...I killed a big piece, who am I kidding.

Marriage is a commitment. It is work. It is compromise. It is work. Did I say that already? Yes...it is VERY HARD WORK...and it is worth every drop of sweat.

I was a lucky...no I was a very BLESSED because my husband chose to forgive me and accept me back. To this very day, he has NEVER mentioned my betrayal.

Are we the perfect couple? LOL...there are days that we could rip each other's heads off because we drive each other nuts. Days the we don't speak to each other. But we are committed. We continue to work at it. We have been given a second chance. I thank God for that second chance. I thank God for my husband. I thank God for my family. I have been blessed beyond measure.

I am not trying to sound "all preachy or holier than thou"...I am saying that I know that I wouldn't be with my family without the love from my God and the support He gives and guidance from His Word. Along with support from friends and family in our church. (we are blessed to have two church families)

If you are struggling in your marriage. Don't hide it like it is a horrible family secret. Tell your family and friends and seek love and support. Everyone goes though hard times. No one is exempt. Seek the face of Jesus. Because He is the one that will always be there.

Another thing, talk to your spouse. Don't shut them out. Because there will be someone waiting around the corner to lend that ear/shoulder. There is a great help from Focus on the Family, I recommend it: http://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/divorce_and_infidelity/when_your_marriage_needs_help/approaching_your_spouse.aspx