My Son Has Graduated

My son graduated on Sunday. This felt different than my daughter's graduation. There are a lot of reasons. The biggest reason was because I had to share it with his mother. Did that throw you for a loop? Are you asking what mother? 

Well, that is because my son is adopted. He came to us in February 2007 at the age of thirteen. He was one that the case worker said, "Don't worry, this placement will be short. They should be returning home in about 2 weeks."

We finalized our adoption January 2010 when he was 17 years old.

PSA: If your are a new foster parent or thinking about becoming a foster parent...words of wisdom here: The case worker NEVER knows what will happen with the case.

S'rsly!

Graduation felt kind of weird. It almost felt like a release. I felt like "I have done my job".

As a parent, there are no "manuals" on what to do. Being an adoptive parent is almost worse. At least it is for me. This day has always been in the back of my mind because I knew there would come a day that I had to "share" him. That day came Sunday.

Missionary Boy (he is going to college for missions) invited his biological family to his graduation. I found myself searching the bleachers trying to find her. I really wanted to share this moment with her. I did not do a good job at "sharing" over these last couple of years. I really left any contact up to MB. He knew that he could call her or his other family with whom he was close at any time, along with visiting anytime that he wanted to. Our only stipulation was that it didn't interfere with our family plans (like holidays, etc).

The place was a total mad house. I was lucky to pick MB out of all the black caps/gown. As DH described it, "They all look like ants milling around". So we never did find his biological family in the auditorium.

After graduation, we all (MB's bio mom, sister, aunt and little cousin; along with my parents and aunt, DH's parents, and our 7 other children and Big Girl's bf)  met at Ryan's Restaurant for supper. It was very nice. She thanked me for inviting her even though it was MB who really did the inviting.

I was expecting to feel uncomfortable. It is hard to know "your place". I feel she is still his mom even though I am his mom too.

But it was very nice. I believe part of it was because I feel that I have done my part. I got him through high school.

Now we move into our next phase...college.

Then the next...