Yes...I can't help it.
I blame it on Facebook. It makes it so easy. I found Baby Girl's birth mom on Facebook. I just happened to put her name into the search because I had noticed that she hadn't been checking her Myspace as before.
The day Baby Girl's adoption was final, I made a page just for her birth mom so that I could post pictures and whatnot so that she could stay updated at her convenience. When she was ready.
I couldn't imagine how hard it would be to give my child to another couple to raise. That has to be one of the hardest things a person could do. Besides loosing them entirely.
I am thankful. I can't even express how thankful. I love my daughter soooo much. So much so, I have this desire to share her. Which is weird because I really don't want to share her. I know, it doesn't make any sense at all.
But for Baby Girl's sake, I want to maintain that contact. So when I noticed that she hadn't looked at her Myspace for quite awhile...even after holiday's and her birthday...I was a little upset.
Why? I don't know. I wanted to show her how much she has grown. How beautiful she is. That she is happy and loved.
Through Facebook I have found that her Great Grandmother has passed away and that she now has two new siblings. One is a new born sister. She also got to see her "big brother" who she spent time with before she was adopted.
Of course she doesn't fully understand the dynamics of the relationship right now. But one day she will. I want her to know that I love her enough to talk about her birth family. That it is okay to ask questions.
One day she will want a relationship with them.
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